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Hello there! So, you just hit a rough patch in your marriage and are wondering how this affects your child’s mental health and learning. The answer is simple: what they see, they internalize. Parents are children’s first role models, and children are naturally keen observers. 

They learn from their environment. And what makes their environment at a young age? It’s their home and their school. Keeping both places stable and nurturing for your child’s mental well-being is essential. 

A strained relationship between you and your spouse where you both are in conflict will undoubtedly create a high-tension atmosphere at home, stressing your child out. It can also result in harsh parenting. 

This may result in him lashing out at school with his peers, not doing well with his assignments, and general behavioral issues1. Further down the line, your child may develop mental disorders like depression and anxiety because of the lack of an ideal family unit2

But what happens when there are rainbows and sunshine? In a perfect world, this is the ideal environment for your child. You create a loving and healthy relationship with your spouse, and that love reaches your child in countless ways. It reflects in their behavior and their interactions. 

Even their learning improves. But as I said, this is in the case of a perfect world. In the real world, we know that spouses have arguments and misunderstandings. However, this part of your relationship should be separated from your child and the relationship you have with him. Your parenting should not mirror any internal problems that you may be facing. 

We love our children and should try to offer them a loving and encouraging environment that makes them feel invincible. Who knows? They might be superheroes, after all. 


Aniruddh Prakesh Behere, Pravesh Basnet, Pamela Campbell. (2017). Effects of Family Structure on Mental Helath of Children.

Wolicki SB, Bitsko RH, Cree RA, et al. Associations of mental health among parents and other primary caregivers with child health indicators: Analysis of caregivers, by sex—National Survey of Children’s Health, 2016–2018, Adversity and Resilience Science: Journal of Research and Practice. Published online April 19, 2021

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